Bittersweet

I haven't blogged in weeks and really, I miss it. Work has been crazy busy but it is going fantastic, so I can't complain. Ok, spoiler alert here - yes, I moved in with Nick and we still have yet to have the first major fight >:) Totally different situation I guess which brings me to tonight's topic - Dante.

Read back if you must, but Dante and I were together for 7 years and have known each other about 10 now. Lots of good stuff has happened to him recently and we have actually become pretty close again since I've moved in with Nick. He comes to have lunch with me at work, I see him on the weekends, and we talk almost every day. Yes, Nick is aware of it, can't say he likes it much, not that I would in his situation, but then again, Nick is still technically married. To the second wife. Yah, back the fuck up off me son. Anyway, I keep digressing. The point is Dante has been staying with his mom the last few weeks waiting for his apartment to become available. In that time he met someone and even though they aren't "dating" per say, it's totally the beginning of something. He spends a lot of his time with her, talks about her a lot to me now and asked me if I would meet her. Which of course I will. I knew it would happen sooner or later and I have asked Dante to do the same with me regarding Nick and he did and still does.

What I didn't expect is that it would still hurt.

I feel like an ass. It's been 3 years, he has done so much to me but still, it hurts to know he didn't/doesn't want me. Again. Silly I know. Things did indeed work out for the best and Nick is wonderful, but I guess there will always be that feeling in me. It's not that I want him necessarily, but it was that he was once mine and I don't want anyone else to have him. It feels kinda like when you hit your funny bone, but there is nothing really funny about it at all, at least not to you because no matter what you call it, there is an unpleasant feeling and it still hurts.