Moving and such

Dante is moving. To Denver. Next week. And I am so sad.

Oh the irony! So if any cares to bother, start at the beginning of my blog and that will explain Dante in more detail. Short version - He was my ex of 7 years and one month before the wedding, he left me for someone else. That was 3 years ago, almost to the day. Now, we are the best of friends. Yes, I know. Shake your heads, yell , scream, ask me what the fuck is wrong with me and all I can tell you is I have no idea. As one of my favorite people in the whole world put it, "Honey, I can forgive, but I can't forget." That's my only defense.

Anyway, he has been put of work for almost 2 years now and just last week was flown to Denver for an interview. He was told Friday that they want him out there next week. For him, I am happy, for me, I am so sad. What else is making me sad is Dante's somewhat girlfriend Jodi. She joined the military, moved away a few weeks ago for training and came back last Saturday for a visit and isn't leaving until Tuesday. Which is when Dante leaves. I am the third wheel. I totally get why he ignores me (not necessarily on purpose) but in my own selfish way, all I can think I have seen my best friend almost every day for the better part of 10 years and next week he is moving and his time before he goes won't be spent with me.

I sound jealous, I feel jealous, I am jealous. He drives me crazy and I know that we would never, ever work out together again for multiple reasons, but I still wish that he would miss me with way I missed him. Too much more that I could ramble on about, but September sucks for me anyway and it looks like it's not getting any better as the years go by.

On the other hand, I am wondering if this won't be a really good thing too. Dante used to come over all the time to hang out with Nick and I (yes, even crazier I know) and Nick, bless him, has been a total trooper about it. I know he won't be sad to see Dante go and to be honest, it will give me even more time with Nick. It will be so different with Dante and the memories not being so close by and maybe this will be the last of the chains that still weigh me down from time to time.

Nick and I have now been together about 8 months now and I am really starting to fall in love with him and it's a very different kind of love and relationship than I had with Dante. For example: this morning, I has some concerns about the bills and asked if I could have a conversation with him about it. We sat on the couch, shut off the TV and I sat there and was able to really talk, not yell, accuse, justify or criticize, but just get off my chest what I was worried about and in turn, hear him and what his views and concerns were. In total, the conversation took maybe 10 minutes. Over all, it will last all day. What I mean is I said what I has to say and was able to have a good, calm talk with the man I love and it didn't blow up into some huge argument. What a novel idea.