I just got finished reading an article on MSNBC which was a blip from the Today Show about a female author who has after 20 years of marriage has decided to call it quits. (roll your mouse below to see the link)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/31452178
To be honest, as I'm reading her surprisingly open story about her own experiences and views on the woe's or marriage, a part of me wanted badly to disagree with her, say she was wrong and that marriage could be a wonderful thing if people would just work at it...so what happened with Dante and me? Oh that's right! Both people have to be willing to work towards the same goal and deal with all the other obstacles that arise along the way. Same goal being the operative word.
It was actually very disheartening to read about how one man said that his "heart actually drops when my wife comes in the room" and not just for her, but for him too because ladies, I know some of you feel the same way about your men. To hear that a majority of women would rather have a house-husband if you will and maybe a infrequently-seen fling on the side from time to time would be ideal just rocked me. Sure, I have joked about it and yes, if you have three guys side by side, they will all have a quality that the other doesn't making each unique and perhaps one can give you something at one time the other can't but does that give us the ok to live in a Brave New World society just yet? Everyone enjoy everyone else for the sake of happiness and self pleasure? Maybe not. A little too Buring Man for me.
But how many others feel the same way as the author? More than I want know about I'm sure. The fear of being labeled a failure by society, friends, family and even our kids can make men and women alike stay in relationships that make them miserable for the sake of pleasing others. What a sad existence when you think about it.
I won't ruin the article by lamenting about my views, but it just made me sad and at the same time realize how true it rings of society today. In her closing paragraph, her advice was that everyone, men and women alike, should save their selves the heart ache and forgo marriage.
For me personally, I will always hold out hope that I too will have what my parents had - the love and patience to stay with each other no matter what, till death did they part.
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Me
- Mia
- 31 years old, no where near where I thought I would be at this age and damned curious to see what lies around the next corner...
1 comment:
Welcome back! Missed you.
I think you are right on several points. Most importantly, it takes work and effort of will to make a marriage succeed. That's a concept I think runs contrary to modern thinking. We want everything easy and we want it now. Anything which can't keep up is tossed away.
When I was married the pastor said something I have never forgotten.
The day will come when you find your marriage under challenge. When that day comes your love must rise and save it. The day will also come when your love is under challenge. When that day comes your marriage must rise up and save it. I am talking about a paradox, but it is true. Marriage saves love and love saves marriage. It is an endless circle represented by the rings you exchange.
The only thing I would change about what he said is that "day" should have been made plural.
Try not to be gone so long this time, okay? I miss reading your posts.
I trust you're doing all right?
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