Friday, January 29, 2010

People suck and other thoughts

I have been doing really good on the quest to become a better me. I have gone to yoga three times since my last post, have forgone beer (which I love) and have tried really hard to watch what I'm eating. Steps in the right direction I guess -

Which I would have loved to tell you about it earlier except my phone, Internet and cable was out for three days so I was pretty much out of touch. The best part was when the Comcast guy came out and spent two hours at my house simply befuddled as to what the problem might be. Suddenly he thinks to look at the cable box - and promptly discovered that our ghetto trash next door neighbors were stealing our cable! How awesome is that? And the dumb fucks didn't even have a presence of mind to get a splitter and do it right. They literally unscrewed our cable line and ran one from their house into our box - and left our line laying next to it. I told Nick that he better handle it with the neighbors and the landlord cause it won't be pretty if it's in my hands. I so don't trust these fuck sticks and would love some sort of retaliation, but I'm wondering if them just being them is punishment enough. After all - when they first moved in, they ran off of a generator for three weeks cause they couldn't pay their electricity bill. It irks me cause I work a lot of nights at home (like 4-5) to get done stuff I can't get to during the day and so I missed out on getting paid for that because of these assholes. Has anyone been in a situation like this before? Did Comcast actually do anything or do shit heads like this get away with this crap? They had us fill out FCC paperwork, said it was a Federal Offense etc, but I'm just not sure how convinced I am....

Anyway, that irritation aside, I'm doing ok with trying to get healthier and have lost 4.6 pounds since I first started:) If anyone else out there is trying to do right by themselves, I'd love to read your blog or hear your feedback. Happy Friday everyone!

Monday, January 25, 2010

Trying to be a better me - day 1

Ok. So far, so good. I ate my lunch that I brought with me today (thank God as I didn't leave for lunch again today) have stayed far away from the candy bowl in my buddy's office and have generally been on my best behavior food wise. Probably cause I've been too busy to give too much thought to food :) Yoga wise - not so much. Have every intent on going to the 5:30am class - clothes laid out, water bottle and mat at the ready - only to hear my alarm go off, crack one eye open and think "It's 4:45 and it's freezing outside. Chico is so soft and warm. Maybe I will just go to the 6:30 class tonight..." which sounds awesome except I am here, at work, writing this at 6:10 when it takes me about 30 minutes to get there. When there is no traffic. And no rain. Oh well. Some days work comes first and this is one of those days. Shooting for Tuesday...

Nick is in a foul mood because of school stuff with his daughter - sorry all - don't feel like re-hashing it at the moment, but I'm going to try and stay strong and not take them out for ice cream after a tough day.

Dante is still in Colorado. His mom and his son moved up there permanently last week. I sure do miss his son. He is and always will be my guy (the son that is). They want me to come for a visit at the end of the February. They have invited Nick although I don't think he really wants to go, but that is a blog for another day or perhaps later tonight if I'm feeling frisky.

Best of luck to me and everyone else out there who is trying to make changes for the better!


Sunday, January 24, 2010

A different direction

So, once again I am on the bandwagon to loose weight.

Now here is the kicker - I'm not alone, my self esteem is probably close to the best it's ever been and (the best part) in one week it will be one year since Nick and I have been together. A whole year and I am really starting to think and believe that he really loves me even though currently, I know I'm not at my best. And that's why I think I love him too. Anyone can look pretty dressed up and with makeup on, but lets just say not everyone appreciates natural beauty.

I am not a small boned woman, but am not and have never been fat. I'm solid and strong and have a nice proportionate girlish figure. Unfortunately, I've noticed how much tighter things have gotten lately on my expanding girlish figure and really, it's because I'm not dedicating enough time and effort to the cause. The sad thing is I actually joined a Bikram Yoga class (which I love) and while it is super tough - the room is 105 degrees and you are in it for 90 minutes contorting your body into positions you've only seen in racy movies and then there's the smell. You've got to get used to the smell - there are usually as little as 5 and as many as 20 people in a class with you at any time, all sweating stretching and everything else right next to you, so sometimes it can be dicey. However, if you put that aside and you stick with it, you are not only amazed by how you feel, but how you look. You see, you burn approximately 750 - 1100 calories per class. Look into it if you don't believe me (what a trip, as I'm writing about this, I just got a message from the good yoga folks they are doing a 30 day challenge class for the month of February*) How's that for a sign? *yes I realize that February only has 28 days, 29 at most - what can I say? They are hippies you know? All this being said, I never felt better about myself mentally and physically - and I want to fee that way again. For me. Not because I am trying to get something or not be lonely. I really want to feel better and look better for me. So here it is: 50 pounds. That's what my goal is 50 pounds. As most great diets start tomorrow, so shall mine. My personal challenge is to blog at least two times a week about my progress and go to yoga at least 3-4 times a week. Who knows? Maybe I will get a wild hair and do the 30 day challenge. Some days you just have to go through the motions, so here I go.

Thank you for being a part of my journey - Bevie - as usual, thank you for checking in. All the best to you and yours now and always :)

Friday, January 8, 2010

Things I would like to ask my mom

I'd like to think that everyone has someone (or had someone in their life) that they can look up to, talk to and ask those tough questions that sometimes life throws at us. My mom passed away almost 15 years ago (when I was 16) so while, at this point in my life, I got to spend a good half of it with her, there are just some questions and life lessons that just don't maifest until later in life. I recently read a saying "Make peace with your past so you can focus on your future". That being said here are a list of questions I wish I could ask now in hopes of trying to make peace with some of my past:

Tell me about your first heart break - how did you get through it?

Have you ever gotten into an argument with a good friend that ruined that relationship? Did you ever want/try to fix it?

How do you really, really feel about yourself? Are you happy?

What is your biggest regret?

What are you most proud of?

Even after you married dad, were you ever conflicted about someone else?

I probably have a ton more that I haven't thought of or haven't even happened to me yet, but this is a good start. Even though I will never get these answers from her, I am fortunate enough to have good friends, aunts and co-workers that have have given guidance and will always continue to do so - looks like mom will always look out for me no matter what :)


My photo
31 years old, no where near where I thought I would be at this age and damned curious to see what lies around the next corner...